, Saturday, 10 June 2017

I got quite a scare

When I realised my mind was everywhere

It was a walking talking living nightmare

Yeah…I was playing silly buggers

Deep in the dragon’s lair

I wasn’t all there

It was now

But I wasn’t here

I was paralysed by fear

See I was afraid to look at the truth

of my incarnational situation

I wasn’t facing the ways

In which I was blaming

My own creations

For the unconsciously created

Effects of my manic mental manipulations

I was blaming my own manifestations

For the mess I was creating

Plainly stated

I had no idea what I was doing

Looking back on it now

I find it all quite amusing

But during my confusion

I refused to view

How I was deluding myself

Using denial as a tool

For fooling myself

Into imagining I could actually escape from myself

Through some kind of emergency identity extraction

It took me a lifetime to realise

‘That I am the consequences of my actions

Profound realisations

Are a bit like tooth extractions

At the time they hurt like hell

But afterwards you’re damn glad you had them

Like when my life became a game of truth of dare

The day I realised my mind was everywhere.

Everybody knows that dreams symbolise our waking life

But it can be quite a fright

To see the outside world

Mirroring our inner strife

Try seeing all of the things that you don’t like

As symbolic reflections

Of the patterns of your own mind

You may find

This kind of divine signpost

As frightening as the concept

Of the devil take the hindmost

But my most poignant and powerful epiphanies

Have come as a result

Of this deep self reflection

Wherein my inner direction

Is made manifest

As an external projection

Understanding the limits of my perception

My objective was to find the most effective means

For integrating both positive and negative streams

Of my consciousness

Not just the day to day stuff

That I love to conjure up

But the karmic smooth and the karmic rough

I have to have the guts

To dig up and love the muck

That lies on the seabed of my soul

Because my goal

Is to see the George Bust in me

Not to cushion me

From the dysfunctional aspects of humanity

But to see those dysfunctions

In my own mentality

To live a life of truth or dare

By realising my mind is everywhere.

Of course I haven’t really

Realised my mind is everywhere.

It’s just an ancient future memory

That I thought I’d share

It’s something of which

I’m only intellectually aware

And that’s not even in the same ball park

As being there

So I don’t dare

To stare the Universe in the eye

Unless I actually experience myself

As the Universal Mind

See I find

My life doesn’t move in straight lines

It spirals and it climbs

It loops and it rewinds


Yet sometimes

It’s dark and shrouded in ignorance

Whilst at the same time

Being filled with the most meaningful coincidence

It seems meaningless but has this tremendous significance

It’s a perplexingly paradoxical existence

But with the willingness to accept the silliness

Of this ambivalence

And the magnificence

Of the equivalence

Between the cause and effect

I begin to realise

That the world I see

Is the world I project

The reality I live in

Is the reality I select

The film of my life

Is a film I direct

So it doesn’t have to resemble a train wreck

It can be perfect

When I let go of all my preconceived preferences

And am as empty

As this sentence is

As unnecessary

As this em-phasis

When I identify with

The infinite emptiness….

….Instead of the masks

it chooses to wear

when I’m really not being there…

that’s really being there…EVERYWHERE

Chris Paradox

Poem by Chris Paradox

Ben has been a practical pain management trainer and a celebrated massage therapist. He believes human well-being is deeply connected to the health of mind and body both, including deep tissues. He holds numerous certifications for best of breeds massage techniques helping him on a mission for healthy London and then rest of the world. He has been an active contributor in massage technique research and on Massaggi blog.