I got quite a scare
When I realised my mind was everywhere
It was a walking talking living nightmare
Yeah…I was playing silly buggers
Deep in the dragon’s lair
I wasn’t all there
It was now
But I wasn’t here
I was paralysed by fear
See I was afraid to look at the truth
of my incarnational situation
I wasn’t facing the ways
In which I was blaming
My own creations
For the unconsciously created
Effects of my manic mental manipulations
I was blaming my own manifestations
For the mess I was creating
Plainly stated
I had no idea what I was doing
Looking back on it now
I find it all quite amusing
But during my confusion
I refused to view
How I was deluding myself
Using denial as a tool
For fooling myself
Into imagining I could actually escape from myself
Through some kind of emergency identity extraction
It took me a lifetime to realise
‘That I am the consequences of my actions
Profound realisations
Are a bit like tooth extractions
At the time they hurt like hell
But afterwards you’re damn glad you had them
Like when my life became a game of truth of dare
The day I realised my mind was everywhere.
Everybody knows that dreams symbolise our waking life
But it can be quite a fright
To see the outside world
Mirroring our inner strife
Try seeing all of the things that you don’t like
As symbolic reflections
Of the patterns of your own mind
You may find
This kind of divine signpost
As frightening as the concept
Of the devil take the hindmost
But my most poignant and powerful epiphanies
Have come as a result
Of this deep self reflection
Wherein my inner direction
Is made manifest
As an external projection
Understanding the limits of my perception
My objective was to find the most effective means
For integrating both positive and negative streams
Of my consciousness
Not just the day to day stuff
That I love to conjure up
But the karmic smooth and the karmic rough
I have to have the guts
To dig up and love the muck
That lies on the seabed of my soul
Because my goal
Is to see the George Bust in me
Not to cushion me
From the dysfunctional aspects of humanity
But to see those dysfunctions
In my own mentality
To live a life of truth or dare
By realising my mind is everywhere.
Of course I haven’t really
Realised my mind is everywhere.
It’s just an ancient future memory
That I thought I’d share
It’s something of which
I’m only intellectually aware
And that’s not even in the same ball park
As being there
So I don’t dare
To stare the Universe in the eye
Unless I actually experience myself
As the Universal Mind
See I find
My life doesn’t move in straight lines
It spirals and it climbs
It loops and it rewinds
It…shines
Yet sometimes
It’s dark and shrouded in ignorance
Whilst at the same time
Being filled with the most meaningful coincidence
It seems meaningless but has this tremendous significance
It’s a perplexingly paradoxical existence
But with the willingness to accept the silliness
Of this ambivalence
And the magnificence
Of the equivalence
Between the cause and effect
I begin to realise
That the world I see
Is the world I project
The reality I live in
Is the reality I select
The film of my life
Is a film I direct
So it doesn’t have to resemble a train wreck
It can be perfect
When I let go of all my preconceived preferences
And am as empty
As this sentence is
As unnecessary
As this em-phasis
When I identify with
The infinite emptiness….
….Instead of the masks
it chooses to wear
when I’m really not being there…
that’s really being there…EVERYWHERE
Poem by Chris Paradox
