It is funny how easily we get defensive, especially in moments meant to make us feel good or safe. It can be confusing, like, why would we put up walls when we’re trying to relax or connect with others?
The truth is, human behaviour is the result of millions of years of both evolution and psychology. We are the most developed species on Earth, and who we are today is the result of a very long journey.
Why do we become defensive?
Because our DNA has everything we have been through. Our traumas, events and struggles from the past that still affect us today. That’s why we usually react defensively without knowing why. Looking at the connection between psychology and evolution can help us understand these tendencies and give us a chance to grow beyond them.
Evolution: A Journey through Time
To really understand why we act this way, we have to look at evolution. Across countless generations, humans have experienced fear, joy, hope, love, cruelty, and beauty. All of these emotions have left lasting marks on both our bodies and our minds.
Charles Darwin explained that when humans left the trees and began to adapt to new challenges, our brains changed immediately. These changes prepared us for survival and affected our thinking patterns. The Psychological Structure: The Fortress Within
The Psychological Structure: The Fortress Within
Our brain is built to be a defence system that helps us handle challenges. Those systems are what protect us from threats and evaluate what’s going on around us. But behind these walls is the fear of being hurt, rejected, or attacked.
We defend not only our physical selves but also our self-image, which is built from our experiences, lessons, and cultural influences. These defences affect our relationship with the people around us and how we see ourselves. But we must understand that they are just survival tools and not who we are.
Instinctual Defence Mechanisms
Every living creature has an instinct to survive. We have been protecting ourselves since birth, and continue to do so as we develop physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Although society has made significant advancements in science and technology and lengthened our lifespan, we can’t get rid of our survival instincts.
The Struggle within a Defensive Mindset
It’s common today to find ourselves defending against many things — and it seems like those defences are about to turn into battles over who gets to be right. Whether you’re a leader on an international stage or just another individual going about your day, what we have to realise is that the same walls that were built to keep us safe have turned into prisons of stress and unhappiness.
They protect us from some forms of pain, but they also create a cage of fear that limits our ability to enjoy life. Those walls we created to make us free now narrow our vision and force us into patterns of behaviour that prevent us from being happy.
Embracing the Magrin Method: Unlocking the Path to Liberation
Breaking free from the defences we’ve built around ourselves can be impossible, mainly because of how closely our thoughts and body sensations are tied together. This cycle is often called the “Loop.” Negative emotions usually begin with specific thoughts, which create tension in the body, which then fuels the feelings even more.
Over the years, especially during our childhood, we’ve all stored some painful experiences in our minds. To protect ourselves, we have pushed those memories and feelings deep into our unconscious minds, forgetting that burying them doesn’t make them disappear. Instead, they show up as stress, discomfort, or emotional struggles.
What makes this even more difficult is that the cycle works both ways. Just as negative thoughts create physical tension, that tension can spark even more negative thoughts, trapping us in a loop of suffering. The pain isn’t just in our minds; it shows up in our bodies too, sometimes in very intense ways.
The Magrin Method gave us a way out of this pattern. It helps us understand how the Loop works and teaches us how to release the sensations tied to those negative thoughts. Most of the time, we feel it in our throats, chests, or stomachs. But when we pay attention to them and allow the sensations to change, they will eventually fade. Throughout this process, we focus on being present, beginning with awareness of our hands and feet and then expanding to our whole body.
As we release each loop, another layer of distress falls, and with every release, we feel better and more at peace. This creates space for our true selves to emerge. In this state known as “mindlessness,” we no longer live weighed down by unnecessary defences; instead, we regain control of our lives and begin to fully experience the beauty of being alive within and around us.
Magrin Method: Embracing our Natural State
In trying to protect ourselves, many of us unknowingly build masks that hide our real essence. These defences may be necessary, but in most cases, they end up trapping us instead. When we look at how evolution affects us and how our thoughts are tied to our physical feelings, we start to see a way out.
The Magrin Method helps us break down the barriers we’ve created and reconnect with what lies beneath them. When we shed what we no longer need, we see who we were meant to be.
Reference: Andrea Magrin
